my thoughts . my memories . my family . my projects . my fears

June 15, 2006 By: admin Category: Uncategorized

Exhaustion has a way of making you unsure. Am I here? How did I get here? Did I do that? Memories cut you off as you walk briskly, in a fog, up 51st street. I said I would never return here, but things keep dragging me back. When I’m away I don’t feel like I’m in a relationship. I know she’s out there – floating, living her life – but when I’m away my life has nothing to do with hers. That’s how she wills it. Her life gets really positive when I’m away… Yesterday I tried to explain to someone what it was like being back here again – the familiarness like you’re coming into your mother’s living room – but he looked away mid-sentence, too excited by his first time here. NYC is happy that I’m back this time. She’s being very welcoming. What a love. And what a sucker am I. She knows how much I love her… I had almost completely forgotten that my ex-friend was here. For the record – mine, you don’t know either her or me – she was never my best friend. Mom was. My 4am phone call. … When I’m away she is single, independent, vibrant, positive and productive. When I am away from her, or she is away from me, I feel her happy distance. …

1 Comments to “”

  1. Michelle's Spell says:

    Sorry to hear about your mother. Your blog is great, though!


    Michelle Brooks


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