lextopia

my thoughts . my memories . my family . my projects . my fears
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Archive for January, 2011

“A Vision In A Dream. A Fragment.”

January 20, 2011 By: admin Category: Boston Beats, Family, Filmmaking, Going Home, Happiness, House, iPhone, Living, Love, Meditation, Michael, Unemployment, Video

This will be a very “meta” post, as I originally wrote part of the below in an email to my aunt, and then added to it a preface that I then, along with the email, published onto Facebook. It now here, in it’s entirety, with yet a new preface. A Pre-preface?

Anyway, I think the message contained herein should be shared far and wide, and so I’m publishing on the interwebs in the two places where I know it’ll do the most good. :) Enjoy.

“Hey everyone. This is my first FB note. It’s actually an email I wrote to my aunt who is a dream worker. I am adding it here because my situation is universal, and I thought maybe some of you are feeling the same way. I thought sharing might help some of you to not feel so alone and scared–as I do sometimes–and might help me let go of some of the hope I have that I will be able to keep my sweet, safe life exactly the way it is right now: sweet & safe. I’ve been studying Buddhist meditation and philosophy for over a year and have been resisting the concept of impermanence since the beginning. :) I guess sharing this note is my way of finally accepting it.

Anyway, I hope you can get something out of this. This is a terrible, terrible time for so many of us, but something I’ve learned recently is that the love in the artist community here in Boston is a-s-t-o-u-n-d-i-n-g. You all have helped me so much I almost don’t know what to say except that I am grateful. You are all so beautiful it actually brings tears to my eyes as I write this, and makes it sooooo clear to me why I’m a filmmaker: I have a classic excuse to stare at all of you FOR HOURS, and have the skills necessary to help share your beauty with the world. :)

Enjoy, and thank you so much for your grace and vulnerability. We are giants. :)

With love,

Alexia

“I had an intense dream the other night that I haven’t been able to forget. Thats impressive for two reasons: 1-I haven’t been dreaming much in the last few weeks, and 2-I think I can count on one hand the dreams that have lingered in my mind days after having had them.

The dream is very simple in imagery: my iPhone broke. That’s it. Here are the details…. I was talking with someone about the iPhone being very rugged, and that I’d dropped it a lot and had only incurred minor scratches and cracks. As I was talking I accidentally (truly an accident) dropped my phone. It crashed to the floor and looked fine from my vantage point of just bending my head to look. But then I bent my whole body to pick it up, and when I grasped it I saw that it had been split in two, vertically. This is almost completely impossible for an iPhone. In order to achieve this kind of break, you’d have to put the phone between two vice grips and forcibly snap it. Even then, you’d never get the straight-up-and-down break that I got.

I picked up the phone and rose. The edges of the breaks were jagged, but I could still push the pieces together and have them fit. So I did just that, and what do you know, the phone still worked. I had to hold the pieces together very tightly, but my friend and I thought it was pretty amazing that it still worked even in that scenario. Still within the dream, as I looked down at the blinking, broken phone, I thought to myself, ‘Well, there it is, I have to get the new iPhone 4.’ 😉

That was the end of the dream.

There was an ominousness to that last thought, however funny, about needing to get the new phone. This thought has it’s origins in my very scary economic situation… For two years I haven’t been buying anything. At all. Food and gas and the occasional beer. That’s it. I haven’t gone out to eat, haven’t gone to the movies, haven’t bought a book, haven’t gone to see any of my friends’ bands play if there was a cover charge. The only times I’ve left the house, actually, have been when I was able to arrange for several meetings and events to occur on the same day so I wouldn’t waste gas. You get the idea… My current iPhone-a used one given as a gift to me from Michael (my brother)-has been testy and slow for over a year. I have needed a replacement for a long, long time, but haven’t dared spend $300 to get it for fear of not being able to make the following month’s mortgage payment. This is a fear that’s been with me for a while. It’s no longer a paralytic fear, but still there none-the-less.

Anyway, the fateful day has finally come: it’s January 20th and I don’t have enough money to pay for February’s mortgage so I have to open up one of my retirement accounts. I only have two and the one I’ll be opening was started for me in 2003 when I was at Harvard-Smithsonian. They contributed to the fund, I never did, so, in a sense, all the money in there is “free.” Taking any of it out, though, before I’m 65, will incur a tax penalty. So for something like $4000 I have to remove $5000 and lose $1000. Again, as this is essentially “free money” I’m not stressing too much. I AM stressing about what will happen if I don’t get a job before April 1st. Because if that happens, then it will mean that I have to go into my second retirement account, the only one I have left, the one I’ve been adding to and growing since I was 23, and the one that I hoped would be my nest egg. If I have to go into that one, then the small life I have come to know, the tiny life here that I have worked and saved so long to build around me, will slowly evaporate.

In the dream, when I looked down at my phone I thought: ‘If you hold it together very tightly, it’s definitely still a phone, but you can’t ignore that if you let go… it just won’t work any more…’ “

Hell In A Handbasket

January 19, 2011 By: admin Category: sustainability

I know that extreme weather events are endemic to our world, so this isn’t going to be an whiny, alarmist “Oh, holy shit, climate change is going to fuck us all in the ass within MY LIFETIME!” post. No. Because what I’ve been reading in the last few months has more to do with unprepared our designed world is than what Mother Nature is bringing down the pike.

New Orleans, Nashville, Brisbane, Brazil, California, California, California. These are places where extreme weather events have happend and caused multimillions in damages, and many deaths. But these events didn’t happen only because weather patterns are becoming more extreme and extreme weather events are becoming more frequent, they happened because our urban infrastructures aren’t designed to collaborate with these events.

That’s right, I wrote “collaborate.”

If you haven’t yet, please read Dan Hill’s long, but very worth the time article about the Brisbane flood: http://www.cityofsound.com/blog/2011/01/flood.html#more Dan spells out clearly that the major issues of the flood were ones of human engineering hubris rather than devastating water. Specifically: 1. building a city on a massive flood plain, 2. building houses and other structures in designs not allowing for water to pass by or through.

You see, we have to work with the rest of nature, as all of the rest of nature has always worked with each other. After all, we are as much as part of nature as plants and animals. We are organic beings. In a flood, unless we’re weighed-down, crushed by something, or unconscious, we’ll float. We can also climb trees and run away. And, we’re smart. We can design living structures and communities that deal with any amount of water or wind or mud. We have the tools to save ourselves, but we have to rethink how we live and implement those designs NOW.

Dan Hill said something which really floored me with respect to “collaborating” with the rest of nature. Regarding the Brisbane flood, he said only the humans were suffering “devastating” effects from the water. All other living things, especially the drought-plagued earth, were thriving. Critters and bugs were floating on the water and cooling off and plants were drinking and drinking and drinking. Makes you think. Well, it makes me think, anyway.

We have “evolved” in many ways as a species, yes, but now it’s time to look backward at logical designs and evaluate possible collaborations with them and everything we know now about materials and design engineering. The worse the weather gets, the better it could be for our understanding of ourselves and our world.