my thoughts . my memories . my family . my projects . my fears

Archive for January, 2009

Hard Times Shuffle At The Door

January 29, 2009 By: admin Category: General

The economic situation is getting worse. If this were the newest, deadliest flu, I’d see bodies in the streets everywhere. Every day there is more news about people getting laid off, businesses closing, people losing their homes, people committing suicide because of the stress.

I’ve been lucky, until now the effect hadn’t hit me so much, but that’s over now. AOL announced that it will lay off 700 of it’s 7,000 worldwide workforce by the end of March, or close to it. Already, the remaining staff won’t be getting merit increases for 2009, and for the lasttwo years spending company-wide has dropped to almost nothing. The firstyear I worked for AOL I traveled every month. These last two years I’ve traveled twice.

I’ve been saving slowly, trying to build up a mortgage cushion if things get as bad as they could, but before that happens, if everyone could send some good vibes my way, I’d appreciate it.

There was some excellent news today too: President Obama signed into law the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. A woman who was cheated out of pay for 20 years fought for the rest of us, even when she knew she’d never see any compensation. Watching the President sign the bill with Ms. Ledbetter standing beside him was one of the moments I felt proudest to be an American.

You’ve Already Got The Stuff, Now Open A Church!

January 23, 2009 By: admin Category: Faith, Health


I read a terrible story in the news this morning about a Christian Science couple who let their 16-year-old daughter die because their religion eschews treatments of any kind other than prayer, or faith healing.

Reading the article prompted me to write a short play, which is currently at 10 pages. The scene is a courtroom. A woman who is a Christian Scientist and believes in faith healing sits on the witness stand in her own defense against charges that she murdered her daughter. The other characters are the prosecuting and defenese attorneys, and the judge. The jury and gallery of on-lookers “appear” off-stage in auditory responses to certain moments in the play.

What’s compelled me to write this play is a desire for teh arguments of both sides to be spelled out plainly and strongly. I WANT the mother’s character to be devoted, at peace, and for her argument to make sense, as much as such an argument can in the real world. I want people to understand her point of view. I don’t care if anyone agrees or disagrees, I just want her to not be written off as a crazy.

There are thousands of people in this country who believe strongly in religion, and while I want them to continue to have the freedom to do so, I don’t want them to continue to throw logic to the wind. I want them to admit that faith healing doesn’t cure diabetes, insulin management does. I’m sick and tired of the “It’s in the Bible and therefore it must be true” argument. PROVE IT. Show me some data that clearly proves that faith healing works.

Of course, what these crazies will say is that they don’t have to prove it. They’ll say their faith is good enough for them alone. N’kay, then I’ll ask–and I’m bringing this up in the play–do you have car insurance? Home owners’ insurance? A driver’s license? A bank account? Cuz if you buy into any of those systems, then you are subject to laws of human decency that demand that if your child gets sick with a seemingly life-threatening illness (and, seriously, how many parents are unable to determine the seriousness of their child’s illness…), you must seek medical care.

The title of this post refers to a comment I made in telling this story to Molly’s mom, who said: “Man, you don’t need much to start your own church these days.” To which I replied, “No. In fact, you could something here in your house, it’s big enough.” To which SHE replied that she even had a row of theatre seats already–she was on her way! To which I said: “See? You’ve already got the stuff, now start your own church.”


January 19, 2009 By: admin Category: Love, Molly

Try as I might, I can’t hate Molly. Nor can I forget her. She is everywhere I look. I read a magazine about audio recording, I think of the two of us being first in line at the Microphone Expo at West L.A. Music, getting complimentary messenger bags with the Rode logo on them. I see her there testing every microphone in the place and me buying her $3,000 worth of equipment before we left. I see and hear her and our memories in songs I shouldn’t be listening to for a while. I remember the few times she made a special effort to show me a new CD or song because she knew I’d like it so much. Imogen Heap’s “Hide & Seek;” the Robert Plant & Alison Krauss album “Raising Sand.” As cold as she wants to be to me now I still can’t help feeling warm toward her.

Suck It

January 14, 2009 By: admin Category: General

So, I don’t watch award shows any more, but thank goodness for others posting great stuff on the internet. The below video is my girl Tina Fey–who spent the better part of the second half of the year impersonating Sarah Palin–who, speaking to people who criticize her, had this to say at the Golden Globes when she won for her show “30 Rock:”

What I Did For Love

January 04, 2009 By: admin Category: Randomosity

 Let me just say… that I’m going to spare you the photo of an aging box of kitty litter.

Oh yes.

Molly and I were cleaning her new place and found… an extremely old box of kitty litter which the last owner obviously ignored. This was a labor of love – the cleaning of the area underneath the box – but when you love someone, you tend to do “above and beyond”-type things you’d NEVER otherwise agree to. And so it was with this.


I hope everyone else had a wonderful day. 😉


January 03, 2009 By: admin Category: Happiness, House, India, Living, Love, Meditation, PMS, Politics


…it’s been an extraordinary year, that’s for sure.

My 2008 started with a trip back to Kolkata, India. Read all about it here (scroll down to start at the beginning of the saga…). Molly and I stayed there for a month in the apartment of good friends who became better friends once we lived with them. :) You can’t imagine the experiences you’ll have in India, and working on the film I just finished and looking forward to starting the edit on the one I shot that Jan. in 2008, make me think that there’s no way I won’t go back for another, even longer, extended stay. We were there for a month, and it was one of the toughest and best months of my entire life. I look back on it with both awe and longing…

The rest of the year included finishing up an online series about sustainability, which has led to a career in social and environmental journalism, seeing Rickie Lee Jones in concert four Mondays in a row (Molly’s 1st time hearing her…), preparing for the political conventions, and trying to get my mind around alternate reality games that, if played, will teach as much as entertain, and, finally, 2008 saw me crossing the country back to Boston and buying my first house.

I inexplicably have the blues today. Maybe it’s hormones. My breasts feel fake: huge, hard, and uncomfortable like lumbering stones that don’t fit with the rest of my body. I look outside at the dark snow–dark because the day is dark, even though the snow is white–and can’t make any sense of why such a beautiful, cozy day shouldn’t be filled with soothing introspection, hearty stews, and a warm wood stove fire. I’ve managed to get a lot done, but still feel profoundly like something is missing. I do miss Molly today, a lot. So maybe that’s it. We spoke last night over chat and to see her and not be able to hold her was torture. I could drive into the city today to see her, but why? It’s just another day. Or is it…???

Some how 2008 has seemed longer than other recent years. When I was a kid a year was a lifetime. As I got older they sped up and seemed to go by in a blink, but I feel like I felt every moment of 2008. So much hardship, emotional torture & travail. Whoever thought one could feel this way in a first world country? Seems silly… And yet, it was real. 2008 will probably go down as my most painful year. A year of catharsis,  examination, wrenching change, discovery, learning…

Maybe it’s the snow. I haven’t lived through snow like this for 4 years. What the hell happened out there in CA??? I had such a hard time… I remember looking forward from L.A. and somehow knowing my future house was going to be a lifeboat-it is, and I’m building it into something cozy and warm and wonderful right now-but suffering what I did out there makes even the house’s power seem weak at times.

It is the hormones, and so I should shut up. The feeling of sadness is lifting a little and cramps are starting. I still miss Molly waaaaay too much not to try to see her, but we’ll see how the day goes. I have some shopping to do, and a few errands. Activities like that usually suffice to knock me out of the self-indulgent brooding I”m given to every now and again. We’ll see…;)

To all of you, here’s to 2009! Finally a barrier has been broken in the American presidency – it’s time for us all to reach farther for our dreams than we ever have. If such a stereotype can be overcome, so can anything.

Keep pursuing!

Much love,