lextopia

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Archive for the ‘tattoo’

Monogram

October 10, 2007 By: admin Category: Mom, tattoo

I want to get a tattoo. There’s a symbol Mom has loved as long as I knew her. A Peruvian bird. It’s very specific and a bit Aztecish, and perfect and I want to get it. But M doesn’t want me to.

What is it about our loved ones that they have this kind of hold over us? Why don’t I just go the hell out get the fucking tattoo??? And for those of you about to psychologize me, I’ve been over it. It’s NOT rebellion, and it’s NOT some odd screaming out for attention. Rather, it’s a feeble, tiny, PERMANENT attempt at carrying her with me. Yes, permanent. I’m attracted to the permanence of it. Attracted to the permanence of it being the representation of my CONSTANT attempt to connect with my dead mother.

“You needed more time with her.” Jesus, fucking Christ — how obvious is it….???

Un beso,
Alex